with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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