How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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