He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
