Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
