thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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