is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize