you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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