worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
