Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize