I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
