yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
