We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
