Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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