i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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