everyone is single if you try hard enough
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
