meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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