Is it normal to miss your booty call?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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