i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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