try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she looked like the before picture.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize