i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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