she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
