I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
