The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
