With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
