At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
