So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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