Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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