God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
