I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
