pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize