It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
