I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
