come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
