I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
