She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
