Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The feeling are messing with the penis
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize