do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
smell my finger.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
