Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
