O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
