i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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