I am midnight drunk by noon
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
