worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
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The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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