Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
