therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
