just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
