he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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