finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
