I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
