I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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