I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
