Me too!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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