Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
