don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
