Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I look better un-naked...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
