I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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