a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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