Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
