I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
