I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
