Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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