I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize