I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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